-This article was written by guest writer Kevin Murphy. The views expressed herein are his own, and do no represent views held by FKPD or it’s staff:

Let’s talk about Zoe Quinn, Phil “Fuck All Yall Including All Yall” Fish, /v/, feminism, SJWs, white-knighting, and personal space today. For those of you who don’t know, and I had to be informed about this week’s proceedings by resident booze-sink [Ed Note: I resent this] Brandon Ferris, let me explain what happened. Apparently Zoe Quinn, the indie game developer whose interactive depression simulator Depression Quest gained e-controversy when it hit Steam Greenlight, turned out to be less that monogamous with a previous partner. Le gasp! That would be not-a-news-story enough, if the reveal (by her ex) hadn’t taken place the same week when she launched her Patreon campaign, which I won’t link to because I’m assuming if you know about FKPD you know how to operate Google. Instead, we created, and by we I mean Quinn’s ex, idiotic MRAs, and Phil “Imma Quit” Fish, had a shitstorm of epic proportions.

I’m personally not going to get into the ethics behind non-monogamy. Or to put it in less politically correct terms, sleeping with several guys behind your boyfriend’s back and lying about it to his face. You can make your judgements about what Zoe Quinn did or didn’t do yourself. What I will say is that regardless of what happened between Zoe Quinn and her ex should never have been made public. That is a personal matter that adults would handle between themselves. In Zoe Quinn’s initial pastebin/tumblr rant about the situation, she claimed (rightfully) that people have leaked nudes of her onto the internet, have spilled bile over her and her work, including rape and death threats. The leaking that she is sexually promiscuous has obviously done her no favors in that department. What that man did is unconscionable, and any rational human being with compassion would agree with that sentiment.

If that was all that happened, I would firmly be in Zoe Quinn’s camp. Unfortunately, that isn’t all that happened, and this is where I get to yell and scream about Phil “Paper-Thin Skinned” Fish. You might remember Phil “Stop Being Mean To Me” Fish as the developer of Fez. You might also remember Phil “Yes I Do Keep Referring To Him by His First Name Just So I Can Make Up Derogatory Nicknames” Fish as the guy who punked out of the video game industry, has deleted his Twitter account three times at this point, and has a history of being a plain unpleasant person. Phil “What Do You Mean I’m A Public Figure” Fish decided that he was going to step into Zoe Quinn’s corner and start firing back at her detractors. Because it was Phil “Okay I’ll Stop Now” Fish, we had a storm on our hands. People flung insults at Fish, Fish being Fish fired back, and we have ourselves a fight between game journalists, MRAs, SJWs, White Knights, and people like me scratching our heads asking what happened.

In my opinion, nobody wins here. The anti-Zoe Quinn camp isn’t going to get what it wants, no matter what. What they want is for Zoe Quinn to stop making games because they believe her woman-ness is going to taint their favorite medium. Phil “I Lied He’s A Baby” Fish isn’t going to get what he wants, which is for internet trolling to be banned and for people to stop making fun of him. Game’s journalists aren’t going to get what they want, which is a reasonable discourse between Zoe Quinn and her detractors. I’m not going to get what I want, which is a week without the Internet trying to eat it’s own asshole. Maybe the only person who is going to “win” in this scenario is Zoe Quinn herself, whose Patreon campaign has so far reached $2,356 dollars a month, four times what she was originally asking.

At the end of the day, I don’t think anyone involved in this monstrosity of discourse comes out favorably. Everyone is guilty of doing something wrong. Quinn is guilty of cheating on her boyfriend. Her detractors are guilty of trying to make that non-story into a controversy. Phil Fish is guilty of being Phil Fish and might have doxxed everyone on his payroll at Polytron to paint the opposition in a negative light. Though, as always, the kings that sit on thrones of shit are the ones who take it a step too far. Those who lob death threats, rape threats, who reveal personal information on the internet, post nude photographs of other people, they’re the worst here. If you’re looking for a target, look at them. I’m Kevin, and that’s why I hate the internet this week.